Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
