Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
His hands were made for my vagina.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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