You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Randomize
