the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize