It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
zippers are such a cool invention
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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