He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Randomize
