it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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