first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
