hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize