The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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