hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
sarcasm needs its own font
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
