dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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