HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
