ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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