I could make wine with my vomit
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Randomize
