did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Randomize
