dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
