"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
