don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Randomize
