Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize