YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Randomize
