Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize