okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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