How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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