May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
