Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
You need Xanax blowdarts
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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