I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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