In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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