O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
