So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
