? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Randomize
