I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
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We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
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After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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