I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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