white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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