Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
