My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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