Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
