So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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