He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
