They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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