Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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