You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
