Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
