so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
fuck your aforementioned shoe
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
