im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
