So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
