Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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