She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
