If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
