That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Randomize