Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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