After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
