Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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