I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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