Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
