can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
