He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize