i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Randomize
