have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
